Dialog Between Two Skeletons

"Comédie Noire/Noir" the section that puts "fun" back into "funeral" and "laughter" back into "slaughter". Some sketches coming up. Till then, a dialog between two skeletons.

Good mourning, neighbour!

Good mourning, yourself!

You sure look good after a moon-less day slept in a velvet coffin.

Well, the moon might shine brighter for you too, today. I hear you are getting your feet replaced.

Yeah, they found some old ones, barely used, by the unnamed graves in the southern area. They figured that someone who used to be in a wheel chair couldn't get used to them. Where to?

I'm going to the market, catch a bit of a laugh with the fish-bone traders. Humor seems to be the only thing keeping this place alive.

Some of my relatives are selling tattered pieces of cloth at the market. One of my old... eh, previous friends, digged in today. He used to be a tailor so I promised him a visit to the market, maybe he can fancy some clothes. Would you be interested?

Not really. Why should we cover our inhumanity with human means?

We are humans! At least, we used to be. What have you been up to?

Stupid travel agents. Don't you just hate them?

Have they been bugging you again?

Are you kiddin' me? They are non-stop in front of my tomb. One cannot rest his bones peacefully?

What did they want now?

Well, they found out that I just got my afterlife credit card upgraded to golden status. They keep bombarding me with they're imperious offers: "Haven't you spent enough time here already?", "Wouldn't you like to ascend to a higher plane?", "Don't you think that all of your spine problems will go away when you become an astral spirit?"

Your spine does look ugly...

That is not of the matter right now.

Your ten stories fall was quite brutal to your spine...

Are you even listening?

Of course I am! You were talking about your spine.

No, you were talking about my spine, I was talking about the darned... nevermind.

Look, I can really relate to your disagreement with those pesky travel agents, but you must admit they are right! You, of all, really deserve a place in the beyond realm! Hell, you can even afford the top traveling means with your golden card. Why do you stay here?

Hell doesn't exist. There's just this place, and the next one, and the next one and the next one... that's why I'm not interested in paying any of those travel agents. I lived for 99 years and 45 days on Earth. And I could have gotten one hundred if it weren't for that disease-carrying birds. Somehow, we got to this... land of the dead and I've worked just as hard as in the previous life to build a respectful and decent life. For once, I am given the option to stay - I'm not going to blow this one.

Well, I don't have the option. I am bound to this world. You can't even hurt yourself here. But I can't say I'm not thinking about the astral plane.

That's exactly what I'm telling you! You used to be flesh, skin and bones. You used to have feelings! Now you're just bones, left without any physical feelings. Don't you think that the "next life" will leave you worse than you've ever been? And the so called "astral plane" isn't just another "heaven" and "hell" that the fanatics have served us all those previous years? You should be happy to be here. You should be happy to have finally reached a balance.

When have you stopped fighting? What happened to the man who had a dream to ascend. To transcend? What scared you, man? In twenty years of residing here I have never seen a man with a golden afterlife, with the unstained life and brilliant mind that you posses.

The sadness. The heavy sadness of the previous life and the deep sadness of this life. I'm scared to even try another life. Scared by the horrible sorrow of a next life.